I first tinkered with Substack about a year ago. Since then, I’ve wrestled with its learning curve whilst striving to become all things to all possible readers and followers everywhere. There’s been Instagram, Facebook, Medium, and now Substack. I produced an Audiobook with a cast of more than twenty actors, and I began my podcast, Angry Dead Women. Needless to say, doing all of this at the same time is impossible to sustain, let alone light properly.
I had hoped to release episode 8 of AGD in the middle of Women’s History Month, and now there are only a few hours left in March. So without further ado, here are some Angry Dead Women along with writer Tonya Mitchell’s journey on having her manuscript edited by Kim Taylor Blakemore. Tonya’s novel, The Arsenic Eater’s Wife is a brilliant gothic thriller, inspired by the real life story of an American woman married to an Englishman and how it all goes wrong. It will keep you guessing right to the end, I promise. Kim also edited my last book, and leads Novelitics, which is one my writing groups. Kim is someone I credit with improving my writing, too. As for my on camera lighting, I’m still working on that.
In the coming weeks I’ll be on hiatus, hunkering down on re-writing the first draft of my work-in-progress. It’s a World War 2 story. I had no idea there is so much I didn’t know about that history and I am amazed that today’s leaders seem to govern as if they don’t know it either. In the meantime here is a personal offering, which are my Beagle Diaries. The next newsletter and episode of Angry Dead Women will be when my new first draft of the novel is completed. Until then.
The Beagle Diaries
November 2023
Last November we attended a fund raiser for Brendan’s Meadows which is a charity that rescues dogs. We adopted our beloved Toby from them nine years ago, and these folks do great, important work. We hadn’t been at the fundraiser more than a few minutes when someone handed me a green piece of paper. On it were two photographs of a dog. Beagle puppy, it read, 5 months old needs family asap.
There has been so much bad in the world. So many people treat each other just horribly. For all the terrible things that have happened since October 7th and all the terrible things that have happened since Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, not to mention all the things that are going on in Asia and in Africa, what can one person do? On a macro level, it’s been horrifying. On a micro level, I’ve decided I am done with religion and have relinquished my faith.
I cannot overstate what it is to lose one’s optimism, especially on a spiritual level. For the non-believer, liturgy, mystery and ritual are diminished. They’re now gimmicky techniques to manipulate our human craving to believe in something. I, for one, no longer want any piece of it whatsoever. I loved my faith, but after October, it came to an end.
Holding that green piece of paper I looked at my husband and started crying.
Sometimes he declares that he’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. That afternoon he most certainly was. “Robert,” I sniffled, “we can’t let her go homeless!”
One week later, Lucy came into our lives and it’s been chaos ever since. Someone once told me, they’re called rescue dogs because they’re the ones who do the rescuing. But my way of thinking, is if everyone in the world could do one small thing, like say, adopt a puppy, the world might be a better place.
Chapter Two
The Holidays
Like many folks, we prefer to think of ourselves as normal. Sometimes, our kids lament that because we are blended, we come from broken families, and that it’s other people who have happy, normal, well adjusted lives. Explaining that what they see is mostly an appearance which is presented to the world is often a lost cause. It’s usually better, or at least simpler, just to agree.
Now, they are grown up and have flown the coop. They are all solvent and good looking, with robust relationships of their own. While we may not be the Cleavers or any other seemingly perfect tv family, for all intents and purposes, we’re a success story. But it wasn’t always that way, and holidays, to be honest, especially for us blended families, can be very tricky indeed.
So, it came as no small disappointment when Thanksgiving was a bust. We had to leave the dogs at home for the drive to our older son’s in-laws. He and I are diametrically opposed when it comes to many issues, particularly politics. So much so, that what started as a line in the sand, ended up as a skirmish which deteriorated into more tears on the way home. I had thought we’d mended our fences despite the disparate political sentiments, but evidently I was wrong. Now I was in a world without god and a stepson who hated me as much as he did when he was twelve. Puppy hugging ensued, but the sorrow wouldn’t quit, so medication was prescribed.
To complicate things further, two weeks before Christmas, I tested positive for COVID.
My daughter’s family was arriving from London. She is pregnant and we didn’t the want the risk of her getting COVID, at least not from me. They stayed in New York while I was in New Jersey, and thank god for Lucy. A Beagle can be perfect when it comes to home health care.
But when our quarantine had ended, Lucy met my grandson and mistook him for a Beagle, too. Eventually, she learned that while he is the same height as she, and only two years old, their shared puppy qualities meant they must learn to co-operate when playing together. As for their behavior, they’re both working on that, too.
And then my grandson and his parents went home. It was 2024 and time to face whatever was coming next.
Chapter three
Early Spring.
My house is an Airbnb and guests stay on the second floor, just above the living room, where the dogs sleep. To ensure the evening is quiet, I sometimes sleep downstairs with the dogs, because nobody pays money to hear a Beagle all night. Toby, Lucy and I pile onto the sofa, and we simply rest, our little pack existing as one.
But my Beagle is no longer a slip of a thing. She’s been spayed, weighs in at 20lbs and has a lusty appetite for whatever she sinks her teeth into, be it paperbacks, hardcovers, tv remotes or slippers.
This naughtiness also includes her pleasure at irking our other dog, Toby. There are times she walks up to him while he’s resting on the couch and she simply starts barking. Barking, barking, like a Beagle, barking. These sessions invariably end with a time-out in the crate. Particularly yesterday, when Toby failed to respond, and she bit him on the tail.
Interestingly though, he has come to believe, that she is his dog. When she steps out of line, he corrects her, when she randomly barks at him, he gives her what-for with his growling. But make no mistake, Lucy is quick to lend a helping a paw wherever we might need one. In addition to a myriad of landscaping pursuits, she loves to bring her digging talents inside, and offers to repot various plants around the house. Just in case, you know to be helpful.
But all the while, my husband and I marvel, amazed at our beautiful Lucy, because she’s little, she’s alive, and she’s boss.
Whether I can patch things up with my stepson remains to be seen.
It is more important that his relationship with his dad continues to flourish unimpeded by a pesky stepmom. And on the world stage, current events are not much improved. Yet what is saving me, indeed rescuing me, is my Beagle’s indifference to all of this. She needs love and she needs care and she seems to need us. Perhaps almost as much as we need her. She has- at least for the moment- saved me. It turns out I didn’t need religion, after all. I just needed a puppy.
You are one busy gal Carrie! You put me to shame. Loved your Beagle Diaries! Taking on a second dog is a big commitment...one that seems to agree with you. She is adorable. It certainly is a changing world from the one we knew even 15 years ago. We all seem to have someone we find challenging in our families. Sometimes we just have to let some relationships coast and see where they land eventually. 😘
Carrie, you are a powerhouse! With your words you manage to make the most hectic situations more bearable. Every family needs its drama and as David Sedaris says, it gives us something to write about. Lucy looks like trouble of the most delightful kind. I will be waiting impatiently for the next installment of the podcast and substack, wishing you success on the upcoming project.