Fearless Octogenarians

and my own historical fiction

When the news is too dreadful for sixty year old whippersnappers like me, it helps to look to the elders. Elders are proof positive, that as bad as things are, (and by golly, on a political level, they’ve been positively blood curdling) they are the evidence that it’s possible to endure. It’s even possible to flourish.

And yet, the gerontocracy which has dominated American politics demonstrates how difficult it is to let go and pass the torch. But Joe Biden’s elegant gesture in doing just that strikes all the chords which are humbling and optimistic and possible. This song was sent to me by my very dear friend Sue. Watching and listening to it, like Sue, I cried. The italics below were written by Keb’Mo’, the singer.

"My mother just recently passed at the age of 91. She was smart. She was strong. She was a leader. This video is dedicated to her and amazing women everywhere that are getting the job done." -Keb' Mo

Most of my life has been spent regretting that I didn’t get off my ass to achieve something measurable in the domain of professional accomplishment.

But turning sixty, I see that differently now. Mo Rocca’s book, Roctogenerians is a much needed dose of optimism in the face of aging and accomplishment. Portraits of everyone from Laura Ingalls Wilder (whose Little House books were published only after she turned 65) to activist Mary Church Terrell’s campaign fighting segregation at the age of 86 is testament to the fact that there is no predetermined age wherein we begin living less. We are alive (god wiling we still have our marbles) right to the very end.

My beloved mentor’s brilliant book is a meditation on this very thing, that we are creative sentient forces of nature until we stop breathing (or utterly lose our marbles, whichever comes first). I read the book in one sitting, because the truth of her perspective is bracing and vibrant. It’s an absolutely wonderful book.

Heavy hitter Ann Patchett says "Getting to Know Death could just as easily be called Getting to Know Life. As a meditation, it is both unsentimental and full of wonder. As a piece of writing, it stands beside the best of Godwin's fiction. Extraordinary."

With the exception of my older brother, Gail is the person on earth who has known me the longest. Our friendship is more than fifty years old and I credit her with shaping my passion as a reader. She has also been breathtakingly kind as I’ve crawled into this business of writing.

I’m working on a novel about a girl who lives in London during the Blitz. One of the most difficult aspects of staying with this story has been the unspeakable violence and destruction of the second World War, which are not unlike current events in some locations across the globe.

Lee Miller, Non-conformist Chapel, London 1940, copyright Lee Miller Archives, all rights reserved.

I lived in England as a young girl, and when I think back to those days, it’s incredible to me how not a single adult went into detail about what they had endured during the war. It might be referred to in passing, but that was about it. As the years went by, nearly all of the British grown ups I knew lived well into their eighties. They were elegant, witty, fascinating people, but they rarely discussed the war.

This morning, a woman I described this to asked if it wasn’t their stiff upper lip? Her question brought to mind several accounts I’d read of those who survived Auschwitz. “You never let them see you break down,” one old man said. “Never, never.” “If you hate them more than you fear them,” said another, “then it isn’t so hard to be brave.”

The men’s comments were made decades later, during the 1970’s, with its bucolic suburbs, sulky children and the hustle bustle of middle class life. “If you have nothing pleasant to say, don’t say anything at all,” was the common wisdom I often heard. Making the leap forward, another fifty years, I sit at my laptop, brooding over my protagonist. I consider those who lived through that war, and those who survived the Holocaust. Then there are those who are weathering events happening now. What an incredible life force one must have to make it to the land of being really old!

In Roctogenarians, 93 year old Warren Buffett is quoted as saying, “You need to be able to detach yourself from fear or greed. You’ve got to be able to come to your own opinions. But you don’t need a lot of brains.”

I think Warren Buffett is right on the money. Read Roctogenarians and Getting to Know Death. You will be so glad you did.